Below are the 4 most recent journal entries recorded in slvrchgirl's LiveJournal:

Wednesday, October 31st, 2007
4:06 pm	dying.... There was this perfect job that i applied for and had two interviews for the past couple weeks. It was an awesome preschool in N Attleboro, perfect place, nice teachers, perfect hours, perfect pay. I didn't get the job. Found out in a letter today. This was the one thing keeping my hopes up about stuff right now. Now, I have nothing. I hate my life, I'm so miserable and so stuck. I hate my job, I'm sick of living at home. I have no money. I'm just so sick of it all. I've been trying to find the right job for me for almost a year now.... Why the fuck would it take that long?? I can't deal with it all anymore :'( Current Mood: crushed (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, October 10th, 2007
11:38 am	I want a new life.  Not that my life is terrible. But, I don't like where I am at all. I still don't seem to be having any luck finding a job that actually suits me. Everytime I try to find a nanny job, I never quite fit in with them. I was lucky last year with the family I was with. I loved the kids, and got along great with the mom. I actually just talked to her today and she said she's love to have me back a few hours a week. Which is good, and I'll probably do it, but it is still another part-time thing. Then there's this other nanny job I've been trying to get, but she mislead me on the amount of hours it was going to be. Way less than I expected... and I'm just FED UP. Also, I still live at home.. can barely cover my bills... am no where near being able to save money for a new car (that i need), or for an apartment. I'm 23, and am not where I want to be in life. I feel like I've done nothing, accomplished nothing, am going nowhere. The only good thing I have going for me is my boyfriend. He supports me, is there for me, listen to me stress, tried to help me through it.. he's too good to me. And he was able to get himself a good paying full-time job. Now, why am I not able ot accomplish that too?? Oh yea, and I'm thinking about going on anti-depressants for what I think is pmdd. Nice, huh? I'm so sick of all this.. :( Current Mood: crappy (Comment on this)
Monday, October 8th, 2007
1:52 am	Getting back on track So, I've been doing a lot of thinking. I want to get my life back on track. I mean, I've been wanting to do that for quite some time but I suck at starting new things. I think I need to make a list of the things I want to change, start and fix in my life (I'm very much a "list person"). Then  I think I'll feel organized enough to really start digging in with things. My life is good, in general. I just want to make it better. Hopefully I can succeed in starting all this right now. I still feel blah being stuck at fye for work cuz I'm still waiting for a definite answer about that nanny job. I hope I get it. Well, short and sweet entry... I'll be trying to keep updating once in a while <3 Current Mood: tired (Comment on this)
Wednesday, October 3rd, 2007
1:10 am	So, I've decided to start this thing back up... I don't think I've used this journal for years and years. I just decided to start it back up tonight because I wanted to write. I doubt anyone will read this, and that's fine. This is mostly just for me to get my own thoughts and feelings out (and just seems easier than keeping a written journal now that i've got my laptop).  So, I'm at a weird time in life. I think I've pretty much been here since I graduated High School. Yep. 5 years ago. I've been through a lot in those 5 years though. More than I ever wanted to go through. They definitely haven't been the best years of my life. Stuff that has scarred me, hurt me, made me feel, maded me think, made me numb, made me happy, made me sad... you name it. That's life, I suppose. I'm not writing to complain about my life whatsoever though. I'm glad for my experiences, they make me who I am. And I think I'm a pretty good person. Anyway... So basically, right now I've graduated with an Associates Degree in Early Childhood, have a job at FYE, am currently (hopefully) starting a new nanny job and am dating a wonderful sweet guy. That's my life in a nutshell. I feel like I used to have more though... I miss my family. Two of my grandparents passed away this past year, which was hard on my parents as well as myself. I miss my grandma a lot and think about her often. She's the closest person to me that has passed away and I tend to forget that she's gone. I still think of her cooking in the kitchen or laughing at my grandpa. I hope she knows I think of her. Also, since my family has broken apart a bit in more ways than that, and i miss having them around as much as I did when I was younger. Family is very important to me, and it's not the same anymore. Also, I used to have many more close friends than I do right now. People have moved, moved on, changed or we just don't keep in touch with each other like I'd like to (no blame on either end). So, having lost friends also, makes life seem more empty. I know you can't go back, you can't change things... all you can do is make your life as good as you can in the present and that's what I'd like to do. I appreciate everything I have, and love all the people I do have in my life right now. I'll probably actually be keeping up with this now. For some reason I'm feeling like writing is really good thing to do right now for myself. So, whoever reads this, thanks! Current Mood: peaceful (Comment on this)